toiletpaperThis is the post you’ve been waiting all your life for. Well the day has finally come. I’m going to tell you about my bathroom annoyances. Yay!

Toilet Paper Positioning

Well, I’m not too picky about it. But what is up with the people who put it on the roll backwards? Ellen Degeneres has discussed this subject, and I agree with her. It does not make any sense for the roll to pull from the back. Look at the photo for an example. That’s how it should be.

Toilet Paper Stacking

Somebody in our bathroom at work sits one roll of toilet paper on top of the hanging roll. Why? This prevents me from using the toilet paper, because obviously it can’t roll if something is sitting on top of it. So I have to pick up the top roll and put it on the back of the toilet.

I don’t get it. Actually, I know exactly who does it. I don’t know what his deal is. Why do you stack your toilet paper?

Not Washing Your Hands

There is one guy at work who does NOT wash his hands after he pees. Why? How gross. I will never shake his hand again, nor will I touch the mouse on his desk, or ink pens, or anything he’s touched.

How rude. He’s such a nice guy too. I’m so disappointed.

Look, there is no excuse for people not washing their hands. Nobody wants to shake your hand after you’ve touched your dick. Practice good hygiene…or at least be considerate of other people.

No Courtesy Flush

When you’re taking a shit, you always flush after the main chocolate bomb drops. It helps reduce the smell. Please, do the courtesy flush. And flush again after you’re done, obviously. The people who use the bathroom afterwards highly appreciate it.

If you have an upset stomach, the rules change. Flush often, and clean up after yourself if you’ve made chocolate milk. Splatter on the rim is not hot.

In Closing

Sometimes, ya just gotta get it all out. Pun intended. I hope this has been useful and informative.

To the guy who doesn’t wash his hands…you’ve been warned. And to the toilet paper stacker…well, we’ll see about you.

There is one topic I purposely left out. I think it’s been discussed enough 😀

If you enjoyed this, please share the love!


  • Hey buddy. I have to agree with you here. There are some people at our work and even at my home who just don’t comply with basic bathroom etiquette. I think they should read your post. Very good. 🙂 CTG

    CTG (Jan 25, 2006)
  • Well, I agree with everything but the toilet paper positioning. I’m a “pull from the back” kinda guy. I can’t STAND it when people don’t wash their hands after using the bathroom. That is just nasty!

    Donnie (Jan 26, 2006)
  • Don’t forget to wipe your dicks after peeing!

    Dan (Jan 26, 2006)
  • You are a hoot! I agree on the toilet paper…over the top is the only way to go. I do admit though that I don’t *blush* always wash my hands after I pee.

    I mean if I am willing to put one in my mouth, then I don’t see what the big deal is…I’m just sayin…

    Scotty (Jan 26, 2006)
  • If I stack the toilet paper, it’s because I’m in a hurry or just to damn lazy to put it on the roller. But I only stack a new roll on an empty roll, so it’s a moot point.

    But I agree with this entire post. I should send you that HOW TO POOP AT WORK thing I have…I think I posted in my blog somewhere. It’s hilarious, and so true.

    sara (Jan 26, 2006)
  • WE THINK ALIKE… I agree on all counts. I also agree on the wiping the dick after peeing. It’s proper!

    T. Johnston (Jan 26, 2006)
  • I hate when the TP is on backwards. I get grossed out thinking that the paper that is touching the wall is picking up bacteria…ewwww. Courtesy flucshes are a must. Washing hands is non-negotiable and I glare at those who don’t.

    adam (Jan 26, 2006)
  • I agree with most points. However, I am a paper puller. What can I say, it was the way my parents raised me.

    Also, for those that “wipe” are you able to accomplish that at the Urinal, or do you always go to a stall, so there is paper? Just curious.

    I always wash my hands, then when I get back to my desk, I use Purell Hand Sanitizer.

    Scott C (Jan 26, 2006)
  • hum.. I agree with these, though I have put the roll on backward and been too lazy to switch it .. however… HOWEVER — I have a big problem with the courtesy flush, and this is why:

    that flush is creating a fine misty aerosol of poop and bacteria which is then whooshing its way all over your ass, crack, hole, legs… and frankly, I don’t want a fine mist of eau de toilet all over me.. so.. I don’t courtesy flush, and I don’t think I ever can.

    I have a serious problem with the non-hand-washers-after-pee-or-poop. Keep your hands away from the freebie food at work!

    jjd (Jan 26, 2006)
  • I could’ve written this myself. 😛

    Sunshine (Jan 26, 2006)
  • I don’t know about you, but my dick’s clean! Much cleaner than my hands are after I’ve touched door handles and public transportation poles.

    In the bathroom, I wash my hands to clean THAT shit off, not because I touched my squeaky clean willie that was washed and then snugly placed in clean underwear in the morning before going out into the germ filled world.

    tornwordo (Jan 28, 2006)
  • Everywhere I go – friends’ houses, hotels, offices – if the toilet paper is positioned to pull from underneath? I change it. People just need to learn, you know?

    Matt (Jun 22, 2006)

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I'm a happily married gay man, writing about my life as a new father and sharing our adventures with a side of snark.
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