12/18/05 – Dance with Me
Rodney’s hotel had a lavish Christmas party in the ballroom. There were aisles and aisles of good food, good sweets, and good liquor. I loved it!
The DJ put on a sultry song in Spanish, and all the Latin people went on the dance floor. I don’t know what it was, but they seemed to know the steps. I was sitting at the table and this attractive Latin woman walked over and asked me to dance. I was stunned, but flattered.
We went on the dancefloor. She grabbed both my hands and started grinding up on me. I backed away. We danced, but I didn’t know the steps. I couldn’t keep up. I started sweating and my hands got wet. She kept trying to get close, and I kept pushing her away. Between my bad Latin dancing and my sweaty hands, she became irritated and let go. Whew, finally.
I thought it was over, and then her Latin friend asked me to dance. What is with these Latin seductresses? And where the hell is Rodney? 🙂
12/23/05 – A Gay Ol’ Christmas
We had dinner with Rodney’s side of the family, which includes his gay nephew and his partner. The nephews cooked a feast that would make Martha proud! Everything was homemade, including the candy, dipping sauce, alfredo and marinara sauce. Yum.
After we ate, I somehow started telling everyone about baby Jesus butt plugs. That proceeded into a conversation about dildoes and butt plugs. Oh it was a riot! I had everyone in tears. One of Rodney’s sisters didn’t know the difference, so I grabbed 2 candles (a tall taper and a short Santa Claus) and explained to her 🙂
It is so great being around that side of the family because they are so open minded! I am usually an introvert, but that night I was the center of attention. I had the whole house laughing, and it felt great.
We had dinner with Rodney’s other family and exchanged gifts. Every year, Rodney’s sister-in-law gives him some stupid gag gift. They are never funny, and they always humiliate Rodney. Everybody just laughs at him. I’m not impressed.
This year, she decided to include me. Rodney found out early, and warned everyone that it would not be wise to play a joke on me. He told them they don’t want to be on Nathan’s shit list. But they ignored the warning.
I opened up the box, and this hideous thong was inside with eyes and a tongue. Yuck. They gave Rodney a matching one so we could wear them together. Whatever. Just wait until next year, bitch.
I spent these days sick at the hotel, sick in the hospital, then sick at home.
Rodney took good care of me. He sat these flowers on the shelf next to the bed, along with my Christmas cards from him and the kitties and puppy.
This was my view from the bed. The ledge overlooks the living room and the skylights give a great view. And what’s that in the basket? It’s petals from all the roses we’ve given each other over the years. We’ve kept all of them 🙂
2006: What’s Coming Up Next
Well, I hope everyone has a safe and wonderful New Year celebration! In the coming weeks, you can expect to hear about AdamMale’s response to this post, lessons in manscaping, podcasting, and more. See you next year!
The problems with my brother and his homophobia have really taken a toll on me in recent months. I’ve dreaded birthdays, holidays, and family gatherings.
Today, I see things in a new light. Rodney and I will be at every single family gathering. We will shine. We will love my brother’s children like no Uncles ever have.
I will break down the walls with kindness. Someday my brother and his wife will see how wrong they were. They will realize that Rodney IS part of the family and we are not a bad influence on their children.
When I was a hero:
You know, a few years ago, I was a tutor for a college student who was going downhill fast. I spent every Saturday with her, gradually building up her education and self confidence. She successfully graduated and she is now a trainer in the public school system. She works with mentally handicapped teenagers to train them for the work force. She helps them find stable, non-discriminating jobs. She also builds their confidence and inspires them in their lives.
I spoke with her last week, and she told me that everything she does is because of me. She tells me that I am her hero. She never gives up on these students, because I never gave up on her. This inspired me.
Find myself again:
I have to reach deep down inside and find the hero who used to inspire others. Maybe I am more powerful than I realized. And we cannot let my brother’s discrimination keep us from loving his children.
In the end, nobody can ever take me down. And this is the Nathan you never knew.
Well, this flu has continued to kick my ass all week long. But I think I’m feeling better today.
I hope my last post didn’t come off as too “dramatic”. I rarely make a big deal about getting sick, because I rarely get sick. But this flu was really rough.
I really appreciated all the nice comments and e-mails I got. You guys are the best. I don’t know how I got so lucky to have you in my life 🙂
Have a great Thursday!
This has officially been the worst Christmas ever.
I caught some sort of mega-flu over the weekend and spent Christmas in the hospital. I started out with diarrhea and then graduated to vomiting (yep, I know you really wanted to know that). After throwing up 15 times, I knew things weren’t getting any better.
Rodney drove me to the ER and nurses loaded me up with drugs and an IV to hydrate me. The drugs caused me to hallucinate but the IV was so good. After the first round, I was still very dehydrated. So they gave me another IV to hydrate me some more.
I passed out for awhile, and finally woke up with an angel in front of me. She sat there holding my hand hand with sparkling blue eyes and a big smile. It was my Mother. And my Father was next to her. I felt like a little boy. I was feeble and weak and couldn’t even move.
I’m now back in Nashville, taking it easy at home. I haven’t been able to eat anything since Saturday, which is really starting to suck. I’ve learned to accept the crazy hallucinations and weird dreams. I’m not going to work today, because I’m not supposed to “drive or operate heavy machinery” while taking this medicine. Besides, I doubt anyone wants to catch my germs.
Thanks for all the nice Christmas wishes. I’ve been trying to catch up on your blogs, but I’m going to have to finish later. I hope you all had a good holiday and I will talk to you later.
Just a short note before we get on the road. I hope you all have a great Christmas, Chanukah, Kwanzaa, or whatever else you choose to celebrate 🙂
Sorry I’ve been absent from some of your Comments these past few days. I have been reading your blogs, but I have not had a lot to say in general.
Anyway, take time to enjoy this time of year. No matter what your beliefs are, take a moment to reflect on the spirit of the season.
I will talk to you when we get back!
All my love,
Have I ever mentioned that I work with a gay porn star named Mike?
Well I do.
Okay, actually Mike isn’t a porn star. He isn’t even gay. But there is a porn star named Dawson, and Mike kind of looks like him.
Well today, I was talking to Cory, and I looked over at Mike. To my surprise, Mike was just sitting there digging way up into his right nostril. Like an angry parent, I said “Mike, stop picking your nose!” and walked off. Mike said “Shut-up” and continued his treasure hunt.
Breeders are gross.
Madonna’s 2nd single from Confessions on a Dancefloor will be “Sorry” and the video will be filmed in January. According to MTV, it will be directed by Jamie King, who also directed “Don’t Tell Me” and “Human Nature”, as well as the Drowned World and Reinvention tours.
I wonder what he’s thinking. He’s a very nice guy, just adorable. But he really doesn’t say much. Every one and awhile, he’ll pop up with something witty and perverted. He’s a mystery.
Seeing how somebody reacts to my writing is strange. I get the honest feedback without them knowing it. It almost feels eerie to know he is reading it when he is literally just a few feet away.
And wait until he reads this and realizes I was watching him. That’s going to be really fun.
The year 2005 is almost over, so I thought I’d summarize some of my favorite posts from my blog. It’s a great way to summarize entries that people might have missed.
Today’s Topic: Comedy
Confessions of Poop (10-18-05)
Câ€™mon, smell me (10-20-05)
â€œSupernaturalâ€ is Supergay (11-7-05)
Porn Humor (12-2-05)
I Smell Fantastic (12-7-05)
Fish murderer (12-10-05)
Shopping Like A Skunk (12-10-05)
Dirty Assholes in America (12-15-05)
My wonderful friend Eddy has tagged me for this meme. That’s great, because I need something to talk about.
Here’s what you need to do:
Write 5 random facts about yourself, and then list the names of 5 people whom you in turn infect.
Facts about me:
1. When I was a little boy, I wanted to be an actor when I grew up.
2. My eyebrows have always been darker than my regular hair color.
3. I am a cautious driver. When I was 16, I almost killed a man with my car (by accident). I have never been the same.
4. When I was dating girls, I pretended I had a twin so I could cheat on them.
5. I am really good at protecting people’s secrets.
People I’m infecting:
Sorry, I have to pass on this part. Most of the people I know have already done this meme. So this part is optional.