Gay + Republicans. It’s like peanut butter and asparagus. Not an appealing combination.

I’m gay and I don’t like Republicans. (GASP!) Yeah, I know. It’s pretty shocking. Take a moment to collect yourself and pick your jaw up off the floor.

I truly am a democrat. Not because it’s the cool thing to be, but because I believe in them. I spend a great deal of time following politics, gathering the facts, and drawing my own educated conclusions. My general mindset is in alignment with what their party stands for.

But over the past month, there have been whispers… Rumors… News reports that the Republican party is about to make a dramatic shift in 2012 to support gay marriage.

Why now?

The Republican party needs fresh blood. The 2008 elections proved that Americans are tired of crusty old white men pushing the same tired politics day in and day out. There are still a lot of crazy-ass, conservative crackheads in the Republican party. But they are gravitating toward this stupid tea bagger business. I think they will eventually just cannibalize each other and die off. I actually think this insane tea party movement is a good thing. They are going to trap themselves in their own minority, which will open up opportunities for stronger, more level-headed candidates to run for office.

As older voters die, younger voters take over and start to shape the future. We’re talking about a new generation of voters. Regardless of their political affiliation, young voters simply don’t have a problem with gay people. It’s part of their culture, their music, their television. Young voters have been around openly gay people for as long as they can remember and that’s fine with them.

So how did the gay community get mixed up in this?

The underlying belief system of Republicans has been that the government should not dictate people. I’ve heard them preach and preach about this, especially when it comes to taxes. It was also a big debate when universal healthcare came up. Republicans didn’t want to insure Americans, but they did want to give them a tax break.

In a strange way, it actually makes sense for Republicans to support gay marriage. It aligns with their belief in not letting the government interfere. I’m borrowing a bit of this philosophy from other articles I’ve read, but I’m starting to see the point.

If the Republicans wanted to make a radical shift, gay marriage would be the way to go. It would appeal to younger voters and make the party look more progressive. Conservatives would throw a fit, but who cares because it would just alienate them deeper into the tea party with nut cases like Sarah Palin. So at the end of the day, you’d have forward-thinking Republicans battling the Democrats, who are not looking so hot these days.

I do love my democrats. But they have been slow. Too slow. And it’s hurting them. Change is coming, but not quickly enough. Calm and calculated is a smart tactic, and I applaud them for being wise with their decisions. But they need some sparkle for the naysayers and the swing voters. They need something, anything to win over the people who are always on the fence.

Would you support the Republicans if they pushed for gay marriage?

In 2004, we were the wedge issue that helped re-elect Bush into office. If these rumors are true and the Republican party does start to open up more to equality for gay people, we will undoubtedly be a wedge issue once again in 2012. This time around, will we be a wedge for the other team?

I’ve thought about this a lot lately. I believe in the Democrats and can’t imagine voting for a Republican. That’s how passionate I am about the party. But if the Republicans pushed this agenda and the Democrats failed to step up, it would certainly be a tough call. Would I give up everything else I believe in just for equality as a gay man? And if I did, would I undoubtedly be let down when the elected official didn’t live up to their campaign promises?

What would you do?


Okay, goddamnit, I admit it! I love you, FarmVille!

Imagine starting the day wondering how many shovels your neighbors have sent you, how many coins and XP you’re going to gain, and worrying about getting to your crops to harvest them. It’s madness, I tell you! Like little Chinese girls pulling out their hair for Pokemon trading cards.

And I can’t keep up. My partner’s 8-year-old nephew is levels ahead of me, and no matter how much time I invest, I’m still behind.

I made fun of people for playing FarmVille, and now I’m all strung out on it. Crackheads.


Oh, Lawdy, Lawdy, there’s about to be some church up in here…

Religion seems to be part of the news everyday now. It is so tightly woven into our politics that many people can’t even separate the two. And for all this talk of higher powers, we seem to be growing more and more divided by hate. There’s just so much I want to cover, but I’m going to start with my own struggles with what I believe in.

Is there a god, better yet THE GOD?

I was raised in a strict Catholic household, where shame was embedded in my subconscious at a young age. Catholics feel shame for everything. We’re always asking forgiveness and are taught to believe that we’re sinners as soon as we pop out of the womb. It’s pretty sick stuff.

For the majority of my life, I have strongly believed in God. At the most basic level, I choose to believe there must be something bigger and greater than we are as humans. And I like believing in God. Yes, I’m putting blind faith into the concept that some mysterious force exists high above the clouds. But that gives me comfort.

As long as I don’t use God to justify my opinions, my actions, or to influence the way laws are governed, I feel like that’s okay. Nobody is being harmed, right? So whether I’m right or wrong, if it makes me happy to pray to God, that’s a-okay.

Over the summer, however, I have found myself being more skeptical, analytical, and negative about the whole thing. I’ve found myself losing faith. What if we are all there is? What if nothing divine or superior exists above us?

It was troubling at first. In fact, even entertaining the notion gave me the shakes. But I finally found myself brave enough to explore it, and now I think I’m actually coming back around. I do believe again. I’m finding peace in my beliefs too. They’re mine. All mine. They weren’t forced upon me by family, society, or friends. I came to my own conclusion, once again that I choose to believe in God.

So what about this dead Jew hanging from two pieces of wood?

Okay, I’ll be honest… Jesus disturbs me. How did the imagery of a dead body become an acceptable image in our society? It’s very scary if you think about it. Kids are exposed to this? Whew.

God is a concept that can be embraced by many different cultures and religions. Everyone can decide their way of worshipping God and exactly how they want to integrate God into their lives. But Jesus? How did Jesus become so important? How did we decide that Jesus was the chosen symbol of Christianity (even though Jesus was Jewish) and now he’s the ultimate human representation of God? I’m going to need a moment to take all this in…

My partner Daniel identifies as Christian and does believe in both Jesus and God. I’ve (very delicately) discussed this with him. I had questions, and I was honest about it. I asked him who exactly we were praying to, and why were they interchangeable? People always jump from God to Jesus, but aren’t they separate?

I haven’t resolved how I feel about Jesus. I don’t know if I ever will. Earlier this year, I taught classes to the children at a GLBT-based church. I thought this church would strengthen my beliefs and inspire me. But most of the time, I just found myself laughing hysterically inside as I tried to read The Bible to little kids. Was I really supposed to explain Noah’s Ark to a bunch of impressionable youngsters?

Adults there would be so passionate about their faith. They’d say, “I was once a coke-snorting, crackhead prostitute that liked receiving double anal while I gave head to homeless men. But Jesus saved me!”

Wow. Okay. That’s great, I guess.

But in all seriousness, I don’t know about my beliefs in Jesus, or how they impact my beliefs in God. I’ll continue to think about it and explore it.

What have I learned from all this?

It’s scary to question things. I’d feel much more safe and secure if I just wrapped myself in the stories that I’ve been told since I was a child. But I feel compelled to dig deeper and figure this all out on my own. It will boil down to my personal interpretation of it. We can’t ever claim any part of religion as fact. That’s where faith comes in. Faith is the act of believing in the unknown.

I do want some kind of spiritual enlightenment in my life. What it is and where my source comes from is a mystery I hope to solve.

What do you believe in?


I was so excited to find out about this! Daniel and I were featured in an article called The 10 Most Romantic Facebook Love Stories. They found an article on my blog about how we met and decided it was sweet enough to make the cut.

A major “thank you” to the editors at The Frisky for including our story. It’s worth noting that we were the only same-sex couple profiled, so extra kudos for breaking out of the norm and not just writing about male-female relationships!


Hey, did you hear Nathan’s new campaign tagline? “You Shouldn’t Stab People in the Eye.”

Wow, that’s catchy. There’s an idea I can support. Who would want to stab someone in the eye? It’s just wrong, I tell ya. Wrong. Let’s vote him into office because I agree with what he stands for.

Am I just stating the obvious?

Well, no, of course we shouldn’t stab people in the eye. If we did, everyone would be walking around with a patch on, like a pirate. I don’t know about you, but I just can’t deal with the stress of matching one more accessory to my outfits. It’s enough work as it is putting all this together. Plus, I know some crazy kid would start the trend of camo patches. Sigh…

So once I’m voted into office, will I end the eye stabbing epidemic that is crippling America? Probably not. People are always going to stab others in the eye, and that’s just how it goes. But eye stabbing is illegal in all 50 states, and I can brag as much as I want during my campaign speeches about how I’m going to stop eye stabbing. That doesn’t change anything, does it?

Immigration is like eye stabbing

Okay, stick with me on this. Politicians are going nuts over immigration. It’s one of the key topics in many election ads for 2010. Meanwhile our President is fighting tooth and nail to fix real problems, like unemployment and taxes. But who cares about the poor, sick, and dying? They’re probably black anyway.

The issue that really matters in America is immigration. Do you know that there are illegal immigrants scrubbing toilets to clean up the crusty, dried urine of rich, white men all over the country? They are taking over our gardening and filling up our customer service call centers! You know, basically the jobs that nobody else wants anyway.

I think we have to stop this right now! We should pass state laws to make it okay to pull over anyone we suspect may be an illegal immigrant (translation: anyone with brown skin). We should invest all of our time, attention, news, and resources into fighting the war on Mexicans! Ahem, sorry… I mean “immigration.”

So I guess this is our new distraction, huh?

Oh, how I miss the simple days when the only thing that mattered was a new photo of Britney dropping her babies on their heads. But those days are gone. It looks like the latest and greatest political distraction is illegal immigration.

I wouldn’t mind if there was actually some intelligent planning behind it. I think we can all agree that people shouldn’t live here illegally, just as I hope we’d all agree that you shouldn’t stab people in the eye. But these politicians are going on and on in their campaigns about how they’re going to put an end to it.

Yeah, right. Can you walk on water too? Look, immigration is becoming a problem because our system is very broken. Nobody wants to sit down and actually think about how to make things better. Instead, politicians just sling mud at each other and hope voters will elect them into office. But nothing is really being improved. Instead, we’re just profiling minorities and hoping it will make Americans forget about the bigger problems our country is facing.

Worst of all, this is a topic that seems to stick. Why? Because, just like eye stabbing, it’s so incredibly simple. You just make a statement, such as, “Illegal immigration is bad,” and everyone becomes your cheerleader. Of course they are going to cheer when the concept is easy to agree with.

Welcome to the next 2 years of politics. After it’s all said and done, I just hope that something about the immigration process actually gets improved.


So this is how I roll…

I got an e-mail a few days ago from the Fleshjack affiliate program. I signed up for their site a few years ago with the intention of selling their products on my blog.

They gave me a $50 bonus to encourage me to sell their products. So hey, I took them up on it.

This is shameless self promotion, but I’m okay with that. Click here to buy a Fleshjack through my site and you get a 15% coupon! You get to have awesome orgasms with your new toy, and I get paid. It’s win-win for everyone.


I hated to do it, but yesterday I had to tell my roommates to hit the road.

Parting is such sweet sorrow, and I do despise being the villain. But enough is enough. Chronically late with the rent, damaging my furniture, not respecting boundaries or personal space. Yep, this arrangement has run its course.

I hate the way it went down. I told them they had to be gone by Monday. The sensitive side of me feels bad that they are scrambling to find a new place, get it ironed out, and move their stuff this weekend. But hey, they once again were late with the rent and I was done with it.

I know it was for the best. We were all breaking the lease in September anyway. I’ve been living with Daniel since the end of May and I plan on moving my stuff later in August. But when they came to me and said they needed more time to come up with their rent, I knew I couldn’t put up with them for another month.

So there you have it. My first and last time with roommates. Ah, well. It’s one more life experience I’ve learned from. :)


We’ve successfully survived our first home decorating project together.

Daniel and I painted the bedroom and I really like it so far. I’m in love with this blue. It’s called Liquid Blue from Behr, and photos do not do it justice. Not too much green in it, not too pale, not too bright. It’s the perfect blue to fit our personalities. It feels very modern.

So we got the paint done and the next challenge was finding bedding. I originally wanted a monochromatic room with many shades of blue, both light and dark. But finding blues that worked together proved to be harder than I’d thought it would be. Some blues blended in too much with the wall, others clashed or stood out horribly.

Then we came across a bed-in-a-bag set. Let me preface by saying I loathe those. They are the death of originality. I prefer the task of mixing and matching everything, even though it takes much longer and is more expensive. But this set really grabbed me. Black and white contrasting sheets and pillows with subtle hints of glitter in the details, and a sparkling accent silver pillow… all in one set.

Over the top? A little. But it felt sexy and glamorous, and hell, we’re gay, right? We both loved it and once we really started thinking about it, the possibilities were endless. We found a second spakling pillow and bought it to add to the set. Then we found a soft throw blanket that we put at the foot of the bed for the cats.

To finish it off, I already had a set of striped black satin sheets. Yeah, satin is a thing of the past, but once you get used to it, cotton sheets are never good enough. So we added those and the bed was complete. Next step will be finding some tables and lamps. We’re looking for those thick plastic lamps that seem to becoming popular again. They look like crystal but are actually just thick plastic. They have a minimalistic and (again) modern feel to them. Probably a white or silver lampshade.

Decorating is time consuming, I had no idea! I’ve never been much of a decorator. But working together as a team is very fitting for us, and we always seem to find a style we both love.


Picture it… September, 2009… A sick bachelor rests alone in his bed.

It was a miserable time. The bug that wouldn’t go away as I lay bed-ridden for nearly a week. Oh, how I loathed being sick. Worst of all, none of my so-called “friends” would come by to visit me. Bored out of my mind, lonely and quarantined to my home.

Fast forward to yesterday. The early symptoms of me being sick had started on Saturday, but I triumphantly tried to fight through them. By Tuesday morning, I could hardly lift my head to get out of bed. Daniel sat beside me with the sweetest and most genuine look of concern on his face.

I went throughout the day, finishing projects and going about life as normal. By dinner time, my head was throbbing and my face felt hot even though I was shivering. Daniel got home and insisted that I rest.

I did… Well, kind of. It seemed like every few minutes I was up doing something, and he kept following me around, insisting that I get back on the couch. It was pretty cute, and maybe even a little bit funny to me. He was “mothering” me and I found it adorable. But it didn’t seem to stop me much from doing what I wanted.

At the end of the night, he sighed with frustration and told me that I was a very difficult patient. I believe the terms “stubborn” and “too independent” were used, among other things.

I finally realized this wasn’t some game for him. He knew I was sick and was genuinely upset that I wasn’t taking better care of myself. I started taking things more seriously and apologized. I guess in my head, being sick wasn’t a big deal. I know it will pass and I know I will be fine.

But he loves me and wants me to relax. So today I’ve rested all day and tried to keep work to a minimum. I can’t tell you how refreshing it is to know someone really cares about me that much. What a contrast from last year, when I was sick and suffered through it alone.


They are everywhere.

Generic catchphrases for the home. Picture frames, wall-art, signs. They boldly proclaim things like “Family” and “Always kiss me goodnight.”

They are mass-produced for stores and sold by the case-load to anyone with a sentimental bone in their body. Of course consumers love them. Anyone can agree with a statement when it’s so simplified. Some just say “Love.” Well who doesn’t like to be loved? Better buy it and put it on the mantle.

In my head, I’ve always secretly mocked them. How un-original, I thought to myself. Can’t people do something more creative and inspiring to prove their undying affection?

One of my all-time favorites to loathe was “Live, Love Laugh” or “Laugh, Live, Love” or “Love, Laugh, Live.” No matter what order it was displayed it, I always thought it was unbearably cheesy. Of course I want to do those things. I don’t need a sign to remind me. I do them every day.

But I lost my breath when Daniel picked out a picture frame that said it. Live. Love. Laugh. The word “love” was symbolized with a heart instead of the letters.

He walked up to me in the store, proudly showing me the treasure he’d found. “We can put our pictures in it,” he said with a sparkle in his eyes.

Suddenly my heart melted and I put aside my critical and sarcastic views. Suddenly I saw the appeal of it. This was our love, and of course we’d want to showcase it in a picture frame.

I do live, and because of him, my life is a much happier place. I do love, and with him, I do it more and more everyday. I do laugh, sometimes hysterically and uncontrollably. He gets my terribly obscene and twisted sense of humor, and he completely understands it. He gets me.

Every time I look at the picture frame, I’ll be reminded to be a little softer around the edges.